Falling Upward by Richard Rohr explores the spiritual journey through life's two halves. Readers appreciate Rohr's insights on personal growth, maturity, and finding meaning in later years. Many find the book thought-provoking and helpful for understanding their own spiritual development. Some criticize Rohr's theological approach as too universalist or departing from orthodox Christianity. Overall, readers value the book's wisdom on embracing life's challenges and failures as opportunities for growth, though some find Rohr's writing style and ideas challenging to follow at times.
Life's Journey: Two Distinct Halves with Unique Challenges
The First Half: Building Identity and Establishing Boundaries
The Second Half: Embracing Complexity and Finding Deeper Meaning
Necessary Suffering: The Path to Growth and Wisdom
Embracing the Shadow: Integrating Our Whole Self
Falling Upward: Transforming Failures into Opportunities
The Power of Non-Dualistic Thinking in the Second Half of Life
Discovering True Freedom in Simplicity and Solitude
The Role of Elders: Wisdom for Individuals and Society
There are at least two major tasks to human life. The first task is to build a strong "container" or identity; the second is to find the contents that the container was meant to hold.
Building and discovering. The journey of life can be divided into two distinct halves, each with its own set of challenges and goals. The first half focuses on establishing our identity, creating boundaries, and building a sense of self. This involves:
Developing a career
Forming relationships
Creating a social network
Establishing personal beliefs and values
Filling and transcending. The second half of life is about finding deeper meaning and purpose. It involves:
Questioning previously held beliefs
Embracing complexity and paradox
Seeking spiritual growth and wisdom
Contributing to society in meaningful ways
This division is not strictly chronological but represents stages of spiritual and emotional maturity. Understanding these two halves can help us navigate life's challenges more effectively and find greater fulfillment.
We grow spiritually much more by doing it wrong than by doing it right.
Necessary structure. The first half of life is crucial for developing a strong sense of self and navigating the world. Key aspects include:
Forming a clear identity
Establishing personal boundaries
Developing self-discipline and impulse control
Creating a sense of belonging to groups and communities
Learning through contrast. This phase often involves:
Defining ourselves in opposition to others
Embracing dualistic thinking (right/wrong, us/them)
Seeking external validation and success
Building a "survival dance" to meet basic needs
While these traits may seem limiting, they are necessary for creating a stable foundation. The challenges and even failures experienced during this phase become valuable lessons for later growth.
A light shines on in the darkness, a light that darkness cannot overcome.
Expanding perspectives. The second half of life is characterized by:
Embracing paradox and ambiguity
Developing a more nuanced worldview
Seeking inner wisdom rather than external validation
Focusing on being rather than doing
Integration and transcendence. This phase involves:
Reconciling opposites within ourselves
Finding meaning in life's challenges and setbacks
Developing a sense of inner authority
Contributing to the greater good beyond personal gain
The transition to this phase often comes through life experiences that challenge our previously held beliefs and force us to develop a more inclusive and compassionate worldview.
The falling became the standing. The stumbling became the finding. The dying became the rising.
Transformative pain. Suffering is an inevitable and necessary part of life that can lead to profound growth and wisdom. Key aspects include:
Recognizing that pain is not always something to be avoided
Understanding that challenges can be opportunities for transformation
Embracing vulnerability as a source of strength
Learning through adversity. Necessary suffering can take many forms:
Personal losses and failures
Confronting our own limitations and flaws
Experiencing disillusionment with previously held beliefs
Facing existential questions about life's meaning
By facing these challenges head-on, rather than avoiding them, we can develop greater resilience, empathy, and insight into the human condition.
Your shadow is what you refuse to see about yourself, and what you do not want others to see.
Wholeness through acceptance. Embracing our shadow involves:
Acknowledging and accepting our flaws and weaknesses
Recognizing that our perceived shortcomings can be sources of strength
Integrating all aspects of ourselves for greater authenticity
Growth through self-awareness. The process of shadow work includes:
Identifying and examining our blind spots
Challenging our ego's defenses and rationalizations
Developing greater compassion for ourselves and others
Recognizing how our shadow influences our relationships and choices
By embracing our shadow, we can achieve greater self-acceptance, improve our relationships, and tap into previously unrecognized sources of creativity and strength.
Lady Julian put it best of all: "First there is the fall, and then we recover from the fall. Both are the mercy of God!"
Reframing setbacks. The concept of falling upward involves:
Seeing failures as opportunities for growth
Recognizing that setbacks can lead to unexpected positive outcomes
Developing resilience and adaptability in the face of challenges
Learning from descent. This process often includes:
Confronting our own limitations and vulnerabilities
Letting go of rigid beliefs and expectations
Developing a more humble and compassionate perspective
Finding new sources of meaning and purpose through difficulties
By embracing the idea of falling upward, we can approach life's challenges with greater equanimity and find value in even our most difficult experiences.
Mature religions, and now some scientists, say that we are hardwired for the Big Picture, for transcendence, for ongoing growth, for union with ourselves and everything else.
Embracing complexity. Non-dualistic thinking involves:
Moving beyond black-and-white perspectives
Recognizing the interconnectedness of all things
Embracing paradox and ambiguity
Expanding consciousness. This way of thinking leads to:
Greater empathy and understanding of others
A more nuanced and inclusive worldview
The ability to hold multiple perspectives simultaneously
Deeper spiritual insights and experiences
Non-dualistic thinking allows us to transcend the limitations of our ego and connect more deeply with others and the world around us.
You do not fight these things anymore; they have just shown themselves too many times to be useless, ego based, counterproductive, and often entirely wrong.
Liberation through letting go. True freedom comes from:
Releasing attachment to external validation and material possessions
Embracing simplicity in thought and action
Finding contentment in the present moment
The power of solitude. Cultivating inner peace involves:
Developing a rich inner life through contemplation and reflection
Learning to be comfortable with silence and stillness
Discovering our own inner authority and wisdom
By embracing simplicity and solitude, we can find a deeper sense of peace and purpose that is not dependent on external circumstances.
If there are not a few soulful people in each group, you can be sure that those who come at the end of the day, who are at the back of the line, or who live on the edge of what we call normal will never get paid.
Guiding wisdom. True elders provide:
A broader perspective gained through life experience
The ability to hold paradox and complexity
Compassion and understanding for younger generations
Societal importance. Elders play crucial roles in:
Mentoring and guiding younger individuals
Preserving cultural wisdom and traditions
Offering a counterbalance to short-term thinking in society
Promoting values of compassion, inclusivity, and sustainability
Recognizing and valuing the role of elders can help individuals navigate their own life journeys more effectively and contribute to a more balanced and wise society.