The book The Opposite of Spoiled receives mixed reviews, with an overall rating of 3.91 out of 5. One reviewer gives it 3 stars, noting that while it may be too late for parents of older children, the book offers valuable insights for various age groups. It covers topics like money discussions, allowances, college savings, and gratitude. The reviewer appreciates Lieber's approach of providing examples rather than prescribing specific actions, and mentions that the book has sparked family discussions and potential positive changes.
Money conversations are crucial for raising financially responsible children
Allowances teach patience, budgeting, and financial decision-making
Smart spending habits foster thrift and meaningful experiences
Materialism can be countered through mindful parenting and experiences
Charitable giving instills empathy and social responsibility
Work experiences build character and financial independence
Gratitude and perspective are essential for financial well-being
Financial education is an ongoing process of values and trade-offs
Children's early years are characterized by a compulsion to find out, a strong urge to both map out and transform reality.
Breaking the silence. Many parents avoid talking about money with their children due to discomfort, shame, or a desire to protect their innocence. However, this silence can lead to confusion and anxiety. Instead, parents should embrace open, age-appropriate discussions about finances.
Answering tough questions. When children ask about money, respond with "Why do you ask?" This buys time to formulate a thoughtful answer and helps understand the child's motivation. Be honest, avoid lying, and use these moments as opportunities to teach values and financial concepts.
Key money conversations:
Family income and expenses
Savings and investments
Charitable giving
Making financial choices
Allowance ought to stand on its own, not as a wage but as a teaching tool that gets sharper and more potent over a decade or so of annual raises and increasing responsibility.
Structuring allowances. Start by first grade, using a three-jar system: Spend, Save, and Give. This introduces budgeting concepts and encourages thoughtful financial decisions. Increase the allowance annually, but avoid tying it to chores, which should be separate family responsibilities.
Teaching delayed gratification. Allowances help children learn to wait and save for desired items, building patience and financial planning skills. As they grow, introduce concepts like compound interest and long-term savings goals.
Allowance best practices:
Start with $0.50 to $1 per week per year of age
Use clear containers to visualize money growth
Encourage saving for short and long-term goals
Discuss spending choices and trade-offs
Every dollar we spend is an endorsement of something.
Value-based spending. Teach children to evaluate purchases using the "Fun Ratio" (hours of enjoyment per dollar spent) and the "More-Good/Less-Harm" rule. This encourages thoughtful consumption and aligns spending with personal values.
Experiential focus. Emphasize experiences over material possessions. Create family rituals around meaningful activities, like exploring local ice cream shops or visiting independent record stores. These memories often provide more lasting happiness than accumulating stuff.
Smart spending strategies:
Use coupons and thrift stores to teach bargain-hunting
Create a "Want/Need continuum" for clothing and other purchases
Encourage children to research and compare options before buying
Discuss the environmental and social impact of consumer choices
We parents are all in the business of supplying 21 meals a week, plus snacks, so food preparation is probably the biggest household task there is.
Recognizing materialism. Be aware of the "economy of dignity" where children's self-worth is tied to possessions. Counteract this by focusing on experiences, relationships, and personal growth.
Creating alternatives. Limit exposure to advertising and social media that promote materialism. Instead, involve children in household tasks, outdoor activities, and creative pursuits that build self-esteem and life skills.
Strategies to combat materialism:
Teach media literacy and critical thinking about advertising
Encourage gratitude practices and volunteering
Create family traditions that don't revolve around spending
Discuss the difference between wants and needs
We want them to know how to save but also how and when to splurge. She should know how to protect herself, too, from her own feelings about money and those of others who might manipulate her.
Making giving tangible. Involve children in charitable decisions from a young age. Use the "Give" jar from allowances to donate to causes they care about. Discuss the impact of different types of giving and volunteer together as a family.
Broadening perspectives. Use giving as a way to teach about social issues, economic inequality, and global challenges. Encourage children to research and choose causes that resonate with them personally.
Ways to encourage charitable giving:
Set up a family giving budget and let children allocate a portion
Visit local charities or volunteer together
Discuss news events and how charitable organizations respond
Create homemade gifts or offer services to those in need
I believe that we should take advantage of our being a community to underline and emphasize the less materialistic aspects of this very significant marker in the life of a Jewish person.
Early work opportunities. Encourage age-appropriate work experiences, from household chores to part-time jobs for teenagers. These build responsibility, time management skills, and an understanding of earning money.
Entrepreneurship. Support children's entrepreneurial efforts, whether it's a lemonade stand or a more complex business idea. This fosters creativity, problem-solving, and financial literacy.
Benefits of youth work experiences:
Develop a strong work ethic
Learn to manage earnings and expenses
Gain real-world skills and build a resume
Understand the value of money through personal effort
If you want to feel rich, just count all the gifts you have that money can't buy.
Cultivating gratitude. Establish family rituals that encourage expressing gratitude, such as sharing thankful moments at dinner. This helps children appreciate what they have and reduces the desire for more material possessions.
Gaining perspective. Expose children to diverse socioeconomic experiences through community service, travel, or cross-class friendships. This builds empathy and understanding of different financial realities.
Ways to foster gratitude and perspective:
Keep a family gratitude journal
Volunteer at local organizations serving those in need
Discuss global economic issues and how they affect different communities
Encourage children to write thank-you notes for gifts and experiences
How much is enough, and what should we trade off so that we have all the things we need and enough of what we want to make us as happy as possible?
Ongoing dialogue. Financial education is not a one-time conversation but a continuous process throughout childhood and adolescence. Regularly discuss financial decisions, trade-offs, and values as a family.
Preparing for adulthood. As children approach college and independence, involve them in more complex financial discussions. This may include budgeting for education, understanding credit and debt, and planning for long-term financial goals.
Key financial education topics:
Budgeting and saving
Investing basics
Understanding credit and loans
Insurance and risk management
Career planning and earning potential
Balancing financial goals with personal values