Getting to Yes is widely praised as an essential guide to principled negotiation. Readers appreciate its practical advice on focusing on interests rather than positions, separating people from problems, and finding mutually beneficial solutions. Many found it helpful for both personal and professional negotiations. Some critics felt it was basic or dry, but most agreed it provides a valuable framework. The book's emphasis on collaboration and win-win outcomes resonated with readers. Many recommended it as a must-read for anyone involved in negotiations or conflict resolution.
Preparation is the key to successful negotiation
Focus on interests, not positions
Generate creative options to maximize value
Know your BATNA and estimate theirs
Use objective criteria to persuade
Communicate effectively and manage relationships
Plan for clear and durable commitments
Separate people from the problem
Prepare to agree jointly with your counterpart
Whatever kind of negotiation we face—from an internal office problem to an international sale, from seeking a raise to buying a business, from dealing with a union to dealing with the Russians—lack of preparation is perhaps our most serious handicap.
Invest time wisely. On average, you should spend as much time preparing as you expect to spend in face-to-face negotiation. While some matters may be trivial, others involve high stakes, multiple issues, and several parties, justifying extensive preparation.
Use a systematic approach. To be well prepared:
Get your hands around the entire negotiation
Use a checklist to identify areas where preparation is most helpful
Focus on seven key elements: interests, options, alternatives, legitimacy, communication, relationship, and commitment
Practice and learn. Treat each negotiation as an opportunity to improve your preparation skills. Review what worked well and what could be improved after each negotiation. Consider practicing preparation techniques even when you don't have an immediate negotiation coming up.
A position is simply one way to satisfy interests. A position is a means, rather than an end.
Uncover underlying needs. Interests are the needs, desires, and fears that drive negotiations. They differ from positions, which are the demands or offers parties make. To identify interests:
Ask "why?" and "for what purpose?" behind each position
Consider both your interests and those of the other party
Prioritize interests to guide decision-making
Avoid common mistakes:
Focusing only on your own interests
Thinking only about what you want
Ignoring the other side's interests
By understanding everyone's interests, you can create more value and find mutually beneficial solutions.
Out of diversity—of perspectives, resources, or interests—comes the opportunity to create value.
Expand the pie. Look for ways to create value before dividing it. Identify opportunities to:
Achieve economies of scale
Combine different skills and resources
Create joint benefits
Find value in differences. Explore how differences in risk tolerance, timing, perceptions, and marginal value can create opportunities for trades that benefit both parties.
Brainstorm possibilities. Generate a variety of options that could satisfy both parties' interests. Avoid limiting yourself to a single position or solution. Consider:
Ways to work together to make more
Options that meet each party's key interests
Creative combinations of resources and skills
Never underestimate the power of knowing what you will do if you do not reach agreement.
Develop your BATNA. Your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) is what you'll do if you don't reach a deal. To prepare:
Identify multiple alternatives to satisfy your interests
Evaluate each alternative based on how well it meets your needs
Choose the best alternative as your BATNA
Look for ways to improve your BATNA
Consider their BATNA. Try to estimate the other party's alternatives:
What might they do if no agreement is reached?
How can you make their alternatives less attractive?
How can you make your offer more appealing compared to their BATNA?
Knowing both BATNAs helps you determine when to accept a deal and when to walk away.
Criteria of fairness are valuable as a sword to persuade others and as a shield to protect ourselves from being unfairly treated.
Develop a range of fairness. Prepare multiple objective standards or criteria that could define fair solutions. This helps avoid getting locked into a single "right answer" and allows for more flexible negotiations.
Consider:
Industry standards
Precedents
Expert opinions
Legal principles
Scientific findings
Use fair processes. When specific criteria aren't available, consider agreeing on fair procedures for reaching a decision, such as:
Taking turns
Drawing lots
Using a neutral third party
Prepare explanations. Think about how the other party will explain the agreement to their constituents. Develop persuasive rationales that they can use to justify the deal to others.
Process is important. It can change outright antagonism between two negotiators into a win/win feeling and vice versa.
Prepare for two-way communication:
Think about what you expect them to say and how you'd recognize a different message
Consider how they might interpret your statements
Prepare to reframe your points to make them easier to hear
Build a good working relationship:
Separate relationship issues from substantive issues
Take unconditionally constructive steps to improve the relationship
Avoid confusing relationship problems with substantive disagreements
Manage emotions:
Recognize and acknowledge feelings on both sides
Look for ways to address emotional needs without making substantive concessions
Knowing where you would like to end up is not the same as having a negotiation position fixed in your mind; nor should it mean having an inflexible bottom line.
Plan ahead for operational commitments:
Create a list of issues that need to be addressed in the agreement
Consider what's required to implement each aspect of the deal
Identify who needs to approve or be involved in implementation
Define timelines and milestones for measuring progress
Clarify meeting purposes:
Define the purpose of each negotiation session
Specify the desired product or outcome of each meeting
Plan an appropriate process to achieve the desired results
Map out the path to agreement:
Identify necessary steps and decision points
Consider who needs to be involved at each stage
Anticipate potential obstacles and plan how to address them
Failing to distinguish between the two as we get ready to negotiate is likely to leave us trying to fix a relationship by making substantive concessions, and vice versa.
Address relationship and substance independently:
Identify which issues are substantive (e.g., price, terms, conditions)
Recognize which problems are relationship-based (e.g., trust, respect, communication)
Deal with each type of issue separately
Avoid common mistakes:
Confusing relationship problems with substantive disagreements
Assuming the relationship is fixed or beyond your control
Blaming the other side for relationship difficulties
Take responsibility for the relationship:
Prepare steps to improve understanding, build trust, and enhance communication
Focus on what you can do, regardless of the other side's actions
Aim for a relationship that facilitates efficient problem-solving
Instead of preparing to negotiate by yourself, you should think of your next step as preparing to agree jointly with your counterpart.
Shift your mindset. Approach the first part of the negotiation as an extension of your preparation, but now done collaboratively with the other party.
Discuss key elements:
Review interests together to ensure mutual understanding
Brainstorm options and ways to create value jointly
Explore possible objective criteria for evaluating solutions
Address communication and relationship issues openly
Be selective about sharing. While many preparation elements can be discussed openly, use discretion with sensitive information:
Avoid detailed discussions of walk-away alternatives (BATNAs)
Focus on standards and criteria that are mutually beneficial
Share commitment planning to ensure all issues are addressed
By preparing to agree jointly, you set the stage for a more collaborative and productive negotiation process.